Bill Freund.

I don’t know how he pronounces his last name – but I pronounce it ‘friend.’  I’ve never seen Bill without a smile on his face.  He’s never spoken anything but encouragement to him (most definitely his spiritual gift.)  Last year, I had the privilege of meeting his wife, Jean, when they attended an SYMC Connect Group I was co-leading with my wife, Katie.  Jean shares his name and his gift!  I imagine if we lived closer to one another, our families would spend a lot of time hanging out together.

Bill loves people and Jesus.  And I’m so glad he loves me.  A friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Meet Bill when you register for SYMC.  Get to know him better on Facebook or through Twitter.

The ‘Real Stories’ series is written by Darren Sutton.  You can find other stuff he writes at everyonescalledtoyouthministry.com.  Get to know Darren better at Facebook or Twitter.

Joe Marinich.

Joe is a truth-teller.  You know the kind I mean – no sugar coating.  He’ll tell you you’re an idiot to your face.  He’ll argue with you if he thinks he’s right.  He embraces debate.

He’ll also admit it when he’s wrong.  He’ll defend the honor of teenagers.  He’ll give you the shirt off his back.

Joe is a student missionary of sorts.  He runs an after-school program building TRUE relationships over video-game wars with kids who would never cross the threshhold of our faith factories. He works for the passion of Jesus and teenagers…and not much else…like most missionaries.

I love Joe!  You can meet him when you register for SYMC!  Or you can connect with him on Facebook.

The ‘Real Stories’ series is written by Darren Sutton.  More stories and other youth ministry tidbits can be found at everyonescalledtoyouthministry.com.  You can know Darren better through Facebook and Twitter.

Will Gregg.

What a genuinely nice guy.  I actually didn’t meet Will at SYMC.  I met Will at a planning session for the conference.  I’m so glad I did.  We had a little more time to talk and get to know one another.  Will is as open and authentic as they come.  He shares his struggles and joys equally.  He’s not inhibited to ask for prayer or to offer it to those in need.  I (and many others) count him a true friend.

You can make friends like Will by registering for SYMC.  Will can be your friend on Facebook.

The ‘Real Stories’ series is written by Darren Sutton.  You can find more SYMC stories and other youth ministry tidbits at everyonescalledtoyouthministry.com.  Follow Darren on Facebook or Twitter.

Kami Gilmour.

I’ve never met someone with a more authentic, tender heart for youth workers.  As SYMC participants complete their youth worker profiles, Kami squirrels them away in her binder as though they are jewels.  That’s because to her, they are!  Each profile – each SYMC goer – represents to her beautiful, priceless gems of the Kingdom.

When I registered for SYMC the first time, I got a personal email response from Kami.  I instantly knew this would not be a typical conference experience.  Kami is not a typical conference planner.  Her passion and compassion for youth leaders drives every decision she makes.  We have no stronger advocate on Earth.

Register for SYMC now and get to know your greatest cheerleader!  You can also connect with Kami through Facebook or Twitter.

The ‘Real Stories’ series is written by Darren Sutton.  Other SYMC stories can be found at everyonescalledtoyouthministry.com.  You can also connect with Darren on Facebook and Twitter.

Doug Richards.

Steady.  That’s Doug.  Recently, Doug has faced one of ‘those’ seasons in ministry.  He exampled for me an abiding trust in God’s plan, regardless of the outcome.  It was definitely one of the very few times I’ve seen a minister go through the ringer without complaint and with very little worry.

Doug and I became friends at SYMC last year.  As he shared some of his life story with me, I was humbled and challenged by his simple faith in the midst of mounting life-crisis.  I kept waiting for the calm AFTER the storm of his story…it never came.  What should have caused him to crumble seemed only to make him more dependent on and confident in God.  I want to be like that when I grow up.

Doug is one reason why you should register for SYMC today.  Those Biblical examples of faith come springing to life before your very eyes.  And I’m so grateful to know those stories.  They push me to live that kind of life!

You can connect with Doug on Facebook.

The ‘Real Stories’ series is written by Darren Sutton.  Other stories can be found at everyonescalledtoyouthministry.com.  You can also connect with Darren on Facebook and Twitter.

In my role as the director of SYMC I try to connect with and love on as many SYMC attendees before, during and after the conference as possible. But every year my heart breaks at the stories that unfold in some of the conversations and emails from so many hurting youth workers. Sometimes it’s just a simple need for a listening ear and encouragement, and other times youth workers are looking for advice from a veteran who understands. But the worst are the scary, desperate situations—youth workers who are at the breaking point and have no safe place to find shelter, and no pastoral support.

A few years ago at SYMC we began offering a free, confidential ministry called “The Shelter,” which was staffed by dozens of volunteer veteran youth workers who were willing to pastor, counsel, pray with and encourage hurting youth workers. The response was overwhelming, but it was even more evident that offering this ministry service for only 3 days a year was not enough.

My friend Len Evans (who oversaw the Shelter ministry program at SYMC) finally put legs on the idea of year-long soul care ministry for youth workers. He approached us with a well-thought out plan to launch “Simply Soul Care—an Oasis of hope by youth workers, for youth workers.” We knew Len had the experience, passion and humility to serve as SYM’s official “Pastor to Youth Pastors”—but his detailed vision for Simply Soul Care aligned with our heart and values so perfectly it was obvious this had to come to life.

So after a few months of planning and building a team of veteran youth workers willing to volunteer a few hours each month to serve on our Soul Care Advocate Team—we’re finally here! Simply Soul Care went live today—youth workers can fill out the care request form and submit it online, and within 24 hours (or less) they’ll be contacted by a Soul Care Advocate (a veteran youth worker) who has been custom matched to meet the needs of the youth worker. It’s free, confidential support, and the Soul Care Advocates not only listen, encourage and pray with the youth workers, they can also help get them connected to professional counseling or pastoral help in their local area as well as get connected to other youth workers and networks in their area.

We’re grateful to have the support of so many youth workers who poured in their time, prayer and willingness to be a part of this ministry. It’s truly the body of Christ coming together to strengthen one another for soul care, encouragement and healthy ministry for the long haul!

Check out the Simply Soul Care website  and spread the word to other youth workers! It’s free, it’s safe, it’s about time we all rallied to support YM together!

Amidst the craziness and public spotlight in the youth ministry world this week, I thought we should return the focus to those in the trenches. Anyone who’s been in ministry or worked at a church has experienced “leaving” in one way or another. Recently my friend, Darren Sutton, a veteran youth worker from Texas, has had to endure “leaving” from both perspectives, so I asked him to share a guest post about what he’s learned from it all.  (thanks Darren. You’re wise and you smell really good. That’s a great youth ministry combo!)

“ Leaving Well” in Ministry –by Darren Sutton

If you’re in ministry, you’ve experienced it. Leaving.  It’s not easy. It  doesn’t matter if you’re the leaver or the one being left– or whether you’re leaving under the best of circumstances or the direst of situations.

In the past six months  I have experienced both in ministry.  I’ve been left by a senior pastor I dearly love.  And I have, later down the line, left a church I loved.  There are a few lessons I’ve gleaned from those experiences.

If you are the one leaving, you should go with a few items intact:

1)      Your integrity.  People have been watching, learning, and loving under your ministry and shepherding….possibly for years.  Lacking integrity as you leave can erase years of amazing ministry.  Don’t spend all your budget money before you go.  Don’t bad-mouth people on your way out – even if they deserve it.  Tell the truth – even if it stings.  In leaving my last church, I wanted to sugarcoat and gloss over some issues that were problematic for me.  But I had a good friend essentially call me a liar (and rightly so) for not being honest.  The truth can be told in love – and people see through the bull.  So tell the truth – live justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God.  Protect integrity. You’re still an example.

2)      Your relationships.  I used to be a supporter of ‘love them until you leave’ – then let the next guy love them and stay out of his or her way.  And while I still believe that ‘leavers’ must make room for new shepherds to gain their footing, there’s no way you’ve truly shepherded people if you can just walk away and abandon all relationships.  Know that, for a time, you’ll need to walk a fine line between continuing relationships and interfering in future ministry – but God gave you those relationships for a reason.  Abandoning them means disregarding your previous years of ministry.  (That being said, some people are toxic….it’s OK to abandon them!)  

3)      Your ministry.  The smartest shepherds leave their pasture ready for a new shepherd.  Hopefully you have regarded your sheep and ministry enough to have mechanisms in place for ministry to continue well beyond your departure.  If you haven’t, consider getting as much in place as you can before you leave.  Nothing devastates a ministry more than being ‘left in the lurch’, so to speak.  Leave well – with administrative and ministerial ducks in a row so that God’s ministry through you continues long after your farewell.

 If you’re the one being left, consider these thoughts:

1)      God always protects His mission beyond any person.  God has a vision for your church.  No one can thwart that.  Sometimes, we worry that the church will not withstand the pastor leaving.  (I know I did).  And sometimes it doesn’t.  (We didn’t.)  But I know God’s plan is never thwarted by man – no matter how the picture looks on the outside.

2)      It’s rarely personal.  I don’t get my feelings hurt much (or at least I act like I don’t.)  But there’s been a time or two where I really took the departure of a pastor or key leader personally (when it really wasn’t, at all.)  Even if you are in disagreement with their exit, love them and continue to walk with them in ministry.  It’s a balm for your soul and theirs.

3)      You are still there for a purpose.  Seek that out.  Don’t miss God’s plan for you while licking your wounds.  Shepherd as best you can and seek His guidance and direction for you and the ministry you lead.  People are depending on that.  Use this time to point them (and yourself) to the One who is truly, always, dependable.

Leaving sucks.  There’s no way around it, but we’ll all go through it.  So embrace it – in all its glory.  Walk through it – regardless on which side of the leaving you find yourself.  God saw it coming before you did – and He was already holding you anyway.  Trust in His heart for His vision for such a time as this.

Darren is a veteran youth pastor in Corpus Christi, TX, and co-hosts a weekly podcast for parents of teenagers (http://www.facebook.com/mipodcast) with his wife, Katie.