conversations from the couch

Cloud of WitnessesThis is a cool shot from an activity in Doug Fields’ message on Saturday night. Everyone wrote a “faith blocker” and tossed it into the air. People were asked to pick up one of the papers that landed near them and pray for that person and their faith blocker. It was a cool, interactive community experience.

If you haven’t met Jeanne Mayo (NYMC Track Leader, and founder of Youth Leader’s Coach) you’ll definitely know her after attending the conference. Word’s can’t really describe her heart for ministry and her amazing impact on people…but this attempts to sing it.

Another conversation last week that was super-powerful was with Guy Wasko, a big-hearted youth worker with a huge gift of leadership.  Guy is leading the Affinity Group for youth workers who are struggling with church leadership.  (The original title of the group was Help–My pastor is a Pain in the @$%, but the team figured that was sort of offensive and disrespectful.  Now I just murmur it under my breath.)

Anyway, it’s a small world because I keep bumping into people who know Guy.  Karen and I met a former intern of his, Andrew, this fall at another event. Andrew offered to volunteer at NYMC, and as we chatted a story emerged about his journey in youth ministry, meeting Tony Dungy, the death of  a dear friend, etc. We were blown away–and have Andrew’s story into the general session program on Friday night.

As I was talking with Guy last week he shared more bits and pieces to the story, and both of us were in awe of the significance of a common thread through the details. The story keeps unfolding into some deeper areas that touch on the legacy left by many people.  God’s fingerprints are everywhere on this–and after we talked, Guy sent me an email recapping some of our conversation, and a few more of his thoughts. It’s a conversation and keeper email I’ll treasure for a long time–one that I’m saving to refer back to on the days I’m burned out and bitter and can’t see the big picture past the yucky life details. Here’s some words from Guy Wasko’s email that should resonate with almost everyone:

I have only a small handful of experiences where God has blessed me with the rare opportunity to see and realize that He has been working through and using me to make a difference (leave a legacy) in those around me. From a phone call from a student that I haven’t spoken to in months to, the ongoing story of Andrew Smith, I am grateful for those small glimpses that remind me that it is He that is working and restoring and rescuing…not me!

The casual, quiet pace of the office during the holidays puts me in the mood to chat–so instead of my usual barrage of email correspondence, I opted to pick up the phone and connect with a few conference speakers I needed to connect with.

I talked with Danette Matty, an energetic, dynamic youth worker from Minneapolis who is leading the Women in Youth Ministry Affinity Group, and teaching a few workshops (one on setting boundaries, one on recovering from the aftermath of a youth ministry scandal/mess, and one just for volunteers) We burned up the phone for nearly 2 hours–talking conference schedule and workshop content–bouncing ideas all over the place. Danette has such a sparkly nature–but with a powerful groundedness, transparency and intelligence that makes her brilliant.

We landed on a great plan to shift some workshops a bit and offer late-night breakouts on some hard hitting subjects. We added a new ”recovering from the aftermath” breakout for Sunday night based on our interesting discussion on setting appropriate boundaries in youth ministry–and what can happen when there aren’t boundaries. Danette shared some painful stories about situations that resulted in tremendous pain for some youth workers–and for the youth workers who followed in the footsteps of the mess.

It’s cool how the conference is “owned” by the hearts and minds of the people who are coming to serve in speaker and ministry mentor roles. (and by youth workers who are willing to share their thoughts!)Everyone has an opinion–backed by years of experience, success and failures that give such authentic dimension to every detail!

I’m learning that pursuing peace isn’t about chasing peace–it’s about standing still.

This morning–before the 12 visiting family members currently crammed into our home woke up -I snuck some desperately needed time to myself with a venti nonfat mocha and the brand new issue of Group Magazine. It’s rare with the frantic pace of these days to find peace and stillness, and in the midst of this morning’s delicious silence I ran across this wonderful tidbit in Group Magazine called , Downshifting 101, authored by Dan Webster, founder of Authentic Leadership, and one of the NYMC speakers leading an entire track on Soul Care.

Picture entering your day with a sense of purpose and confidence that flows from a quiet connectedness to God. You’re unhurried and focused. Your heart has the resources you need to face the challenges of the day. There’s wisdom in the moment, compassion for the needy, and love for the teenagers you encounter.

Now think of life as it usually is. You enter the same day stressed, behind, pressured, angry, fearful, and worried…feeling generally on edge. Tasks seem overwhelming, teenagers are interruptions, and your personality has the aroma of kitchen garbage. How many days in the last month have been like that for you?

By nature youth workers tend to be people of action. We thrive of the battlefields of problems, decisions, and crises. If things slow down, we don’t know what to do with ourselves. The upside of action is that things get done, and that’s good. The downside of always staying in the action is that we run the risk of losing touch with our hearts–and that’s bad.

Intentionally downshift at the beginning of each day so you can bring a quiet trusting heart into the work of loving teenagers. They’ll be grateful and you will know joy.

Merry Christmas everyone! May you find God’s peace in your pace.

We’re getting a few requests from churches asking for 1-day passes for extra people to attend NYMC to hear the speakers and bands.  We tossed the idea around and decided that it’s no fun  searching for seats in a crowded setting, especially when you have a group hoping to sit together. We wish we could say yes–and there have been some compelling requests for 1-night only, but it’s not fair to pick and choose. Here’s the “official” word: 

Although we’d love to accommodate requests for evening-only ticket sales, the National Youth Ministry Conference was designed to be a complete conference experience for youth workers who come for training, connection and worship. Seating and facilities have been arranged for registered conference attendees. To respect the conference attendees, we do not sell tickets to portions of the conference. However, you can choose to become a conference attendee by paying the conference registration fee, and attend the portions of the conference as you wish

There’s a large concentration of ministry organizations in Colorado, and a lot of visiting that goes on between each other. Visiting usually involves the seeking of “partnership opportunities” which is code for “business venture.” It’s OK—we’re all looking for ways to grow and expand our ministries, but I love the occasions when we all meet without any agenda but mutual respect of ministry efforts.

This was the case with our friends from Dare 2 Share. Greg Stier, Debbie Bresina and Carol Ann hung out with our crew on Thursday to share the latest ministry happenings. Although Greg has spent time with other folks at Group, I personally didn’t really know him other than having heard him speak at various events, and I wondered if this would be another typical “partnership” business meeting.

It wasn’t. The time was authentically refreshing. The folks at D2S are committed to one thing—Jesus.  Greg isn’t about politics, condemnation, feel-good motivation, or an ego-driven sense of himself as the holy deliverer of the salvation message. He’s got a passionate, loving heart for sharing the message of Jesus, and he and D2S are dedicated to equipping others to share this message too.

Greg Stier is speaking at the Sunday evening general session at NYMC, as well as teaching a track on evangelism. I’m sure he’ll impart his message with the colorful intensity and personal illustrations that illuminate his passion, but it’s the one-on-one conversation with Greg that will blow you away. Look for him on the couch hanging out with other youth workers when he’s not speaking–it’s worth the time to get to know him.

Tim Timmons is our conference worship leader, and he’ll be opening each evening general session, as well as the closing general session on Monday. He also leads worship at Mariner’s Church , and is another one of Doug’s youth group legacies. Tim’s so talented, and has one of the most authentic, humble spirits. It’s so cool to see all of these guys grown up and passionately leading different ministries because they were so impacted by their youth ministry experience as students. We’re excited that Tim’s bringing his whole band this year.

Chris Tafalia (Taffy) is also part of our conference worship team. He’s the student ministries worship pastor at Saddleback, is absolutely hilarious, and has an incredible heart for leading students in worship. He’s bringing his student worship band to NYMC–a bunch of 15-18 year old kids that share this passion. They’ll be leading worship in the morning general sessions. Taffy is also doing a workshop on Leading Students in Worship at the National Youth Ministry Conference.

We had another meeting today about some more worship ideas, including a “worship unplugged” feature each day where we’d have some stuff going on outside of the general sessions. (late-night, etc.) We’re also talking about adding an affinity group for youth workers who are also involved in student worship. More on all of that soon…

If you know about Simply Youth Ministry (Doug Fields’ youth ministry resource company), you probably know Andy Brazelton.  Andy was one of Doug’s youth group kids from a decade ago who stuck around to run SYM. Andy’s also a part of our National Youth Ministry Conference crew, and he’s organizing a whole series of practical, hands-on, how-to media/technology workshops at NYMC, along with Chris Davis, the tech master behind  from youthministry.com. (Chris was also kind enough to set up this conference blog for us)

Andy’s actually visiting us in Colorado this week for some meetings at Group, and brought along his wife, Julie, and son, Carter, for company.  Since my husband, Tim, oversees the youth ministry resource area at Group and works closely with Andy, I thought a home-cooked dinner would be a nice way to include the whole family while we talked about the media workshop series at the conference.

Shortly before Tim and the Brazelton family showed up for dinner, I discovered disturbing evidence that our 85lb Golden Retriever puppy, Molly, had officially “entered into her womanhood.” Since Molly is a gregarious attention-loving beast, I couldn’t just lock her outside the patio door and spend an evening trying to talk over her frantic barking. A quick trip to PetsMart and some disposable dog diapers was the only solution. With the help of my mortified 12 year-old daughter, and 10 year-old son, we manged to wrestle a pamper on her and have a nice little impromtu, illustrated discussion about adolescent body changes. Problem solved.

When Andy, Julie and Carter arrived at our home, Molly barrelled into them with a super-hyper greeting. Her not-so-fresh doggie diaper exploded right off and launched at them as well. Welcome Brazeltons! Andy and Julie were kind enough to assist me in round 2 of the dog-diapering rematch. (it’s hard to put a wagging tail through the pamper tail-hole.) We proceeded to hang out for awhile and talk about some new workshops that need to be added to the NYMC website when Andy noticed Molly was trembling, graciously mentioned something smelled bad, and asked if the diaper allowed her to go to the bathroom if needed.  An a-ha moment for all of us. The sanitary pamper effort had taken an unfortunate 180 degree turn. I’ll stop the story here. We tried to enjoy our dinner conversation, but it was really hard to hear over the barking.

Thanks for being a great sport, Andy!