conversations from the couch

Another conversation last week that was super-powerful was with Guy Wasko, a big-hearted youth worker with a huge gift of leadership.  Guy is leading the Affinity Group for youth workers who are struggling with church leadership.  (The original title of the group was Help–My pastor is a Pain in the @$%, but the team figured that was sort of offensive and disrespectful.  Now I just murmur it under my breath.)

Anyway, it’s a small world because I keep bumping into people who know Guy.  Karen and I met a former intern of his, Andrew, this fall at another event. Andrew offered to volunteer at NYMC, and as we chatted a story emerged about his journey in youth ministry, meeting Tony Dungy, the death of  a dear friend, etc. We were blown away–and have Andrew’s story into the general session program on Friday night.

As I was talking with Guy last week he shared more bits and pieces to the story, and both of us were in awe of the significance of a common thread through the details. The story keeps unfolding into some deeper areas that touch on the legacy left by many people.  God’s fingerprints are everywhere on this–and after we talked, Guy sent me an email recapping some of our conversation, and a few more of his thoughts. It’s a conversation and keeper email I’ll treasure for a long time–one that I’m saving to refer back to on the days I’m burned out and bitter and can’t see the big picture past the yucky life details. Here’s some words from Guy Wasko’s email that should resonate with almost everyone:

I have only a small handful of experiences where God has blessed me with the rare opportunity to see and realize that He has been working through and using me to make a difference (leave a legacy) in those around me. From a phone call from a student that I haven’t spoken to in months to, the ongoing story of Andrew Smith, I am grateful for those small glimpses that remind me that it is He that is working and restoring and rescuing…not me!

The casual, quiet pace of the office during the holidays puts me in the mood to chat–so instead of my usual barrage of email correspondence, I opted to pick up the phone and connect with a few conference speakers I needed to connect with.

I talked with Danette Matty, an energetic, dynamic youth worker from Minneapolis who is leading the Women in Youth Ministry Affinity Group, and teaching a few workshops (one on setting boundaries, one on recovering from the aftermath of a youth ministry scandal/mess, and one just for volunteers) We burned up the phone for nearly 2 hours–talking conference schedule and workshop content–bouncing ideas all over the place. Danette has such a sparkly nature–but with a powerful groundedness, transparency and intelligence that makes her brilliant.

We landed on a great plan to shift some workshops a bit and offer late-night breakouts on some hard hitting subjects. We added a new ”recovering from the aftermath” breakout for Sunday night based on our interesting discussion on setting appropriate boundaries in youth ministry–and what can happen when there aren’t boundaries. Danette shared some painful stories about situations that resulted in tremendous pain for some youth workers–and for the youth workers who followed in the footsteps of the mess.

It’s cool how the conference is “owned” by the hearts and minds of the people who are coming to serve in speaker and ministry mentor roles. (and by youth workers who are willing to share their thoughts!)Everyone has an opinion–backed by years of experience, success and failures that give such authentic dimension to every detail!