conversations from the couch

I think it started as an idea during an Affinity Group leaders meeting at NYMC 2008 (Brandon or someone came up with this I think) Everyone wanted to keep the conversations going beyond the conference and give youth workers a place to keep going back to so the relationships and discussions that started at NYMC didn’t just vanish at the end of the 4 days. A few Affinity Groups started their own blogs and Facebook pages, but we have FINALLY pulled this all together in one online community!

Check out NYMCconnect.com and get started by joining an affinity group. All of the Affinity Group leaders from last year are getting plugged back in now to start some discussions, and we’re hoping a bunch of folks can reconnect here, and new people can also get talking before NYMC. It’s just starting out–so help this get rolling by jumping in and starting a discussion!

We’re thrilled to have the new addition of Chuck Bomar (guru of college-age ministry) joining us to lead and mentor an affinity group for those in this ministry niche! Here’s his affinity group description (all affinity groups are loosely organized gatherings that launch on Friday afternoon, and run throughout the conference.) Daily details for all affinity groups will be announce on-site… 
Affinity Group for Leaders of College Age Ministry
You don’t have to be in college ministry for long to understand there isn’t very many resources designed to help in day to day ministry.  We also quickly realize that its difficult to connect with others in college ministry to bounce ideas, get new ones, or just hear about what God’s doing in other ministries around the country.  Join us for a time of Q&A, brainstorming, and simply connecting with others in the college ministry world!

I just received the write-up from Guy Wasko, the affinity group leader who really had it on his heart to create a group to meet throughout NYMC for healing, ideas and support. This group will gather at 1 pm, and again at 4:30 on Friday afternoon–and will continue to meet throughout the conference. Times will be posted every day–and all groups are open to everyone. Come once–or every time!

Affinity Group for Youth Workers Dealing With Difficult Church LeadersFrom “Dream Teams” to leadership teams we never want to dream of, we’ve probably all experienced a variety of leaders, leadership styles and conflict when it comes to church boards, committees or Sr. Pastors. It’s also safe to say that many of us are probably still carrying the scars from past experiences (maybe even current ones). This isn’t a gripe session or your chance to play an overzealous game of “my pastor is worse than your pastor.” This group will be about creating a safe place where others know your pain, recognize your scars and we can journey together toward healing and restoration. Maybe you just want to dip your toe in the water or maybe you’re ready to jump in head first, either way, join us on an adventure toward healing and creating a workable plan in dealing with difficult church leadership.  

Another conversation last week that was super-powerful was with Guy Wasko, a big-hearted youth worker with a huge gift of leadership.  Guy is leading the Affinity Group for youth workers who are struggling with church leadership.  (The original title of the group was Help–My pastor is a Pain in the @$%, but the team figured that was sort of offensive and disrespectful.  Now I just murmur it under my breath.)

Anyway, it’s a small world because I keep bumping into people who know Guy.  Karen and I met a former intern of his, Andrew, this fall at another event. Andrew offered to volunteer at NYMC, and as we chatted a story emerged about his journey in youth ministry, meeting Tony Dungy, the death of  a dear friend, etc. We were blown away–and have Andrew’s story into the general session program on Friday night.

As I was talking with Guy last week he shared more bits and pieces to the story, and both of us were in awe of the significance of a common thread through the details. The story keeps unfolding into some deeper areas that touch on the legacy left by many people.  God’s fingerprints are everywhere on this–and after we talked, Guy sent me an email recapping some of our conversation, and a few more of his thoughts. It’s a conversation and keeper email I’ll treasure for a long time–one that I’m saving to refer back to on the days I’m burned out and bitter and can’t see the big picture past the yucky life details. Here’s some words from Guy Wasko’s email that should resonate with almost everyone:

I have only a small handful of experiences where God has blessed me with the rare opportunity to see and realize that He has been working through and using me to make a difference (leave a legacy) in those around me. From a phone call from a student that I haven’t spoken to in months to, the ongoing story of Andrew Smith, I am grateful for those small glimpses that remind me that it is He that is working and restoring and rescuing…not me!

The casual, quiet pace of the office during the holidays puts me in the mood to chat–so instead of my usual barrage of email correspondence, I opted to pick up the phone and connect with a few conference speakers I needed to connect with.

I talked with Danette Matty, an energetic, dynamic youth worker from Minneapolis who is leading the Women in Youth Ministry Affinity Group, and teaching a few workshops (one on setting boundaries, one on recovering from the aftermath of a youth ministry scandal/mess, and one just for volunteers) We burned up the phone for nearly 2 hours–talking conference schedule and workshop content–bouncing ideas all over the place. Danette has such a sparkly nature–but with a powerful groundedness, transparency and intelligence that makes her brilliant.

We landed on a great plan to shift some workshops a bit and offer late-night breakouts on some hard hitting subjects. We added a new ”recovering from the aftermath” breakout for Sunday night based on our interesting discussion on setting appropriate boundaries in youth ministry–and what can happen when there aren’t boundaries. Danette shared some painful stories about situations that resulted in tremendous pain for some youth workers–and for the youth workers who followed in the footsteps of the mess.

It’s cool how the conference is “owned” by the hearts and minds of the people who are coming to serve in speaker and ministry mentor roles. (and by youth workers who are willing to share their thoughts!)Everyone has an opinion–backed by years of experience, success and failures that give such authentic dimension to every detail!

Another GREAT question. What started out as pre-conference activities has become a major small groups initiative. Love that this idea was inspired by input from 2007 NYMC attendees.

 Affinity Groups are optional, casual small groups at NYMC so you can connect, share info learned in various tracks and workshops, and discuss how it applies to your similar ministry situation. Each group has a ministry mentor who’ll help lead discussion, and organize the next group meeting. Affinity Groups kick-off on Friday 2/22 from 3-4:30 pm for fellowship, and continue throughout the conference during various times. Example: early morning coffee devotions, brown-bag lunches, and late night discussions.  Affinty Group information boards in the commons area communicate daily happenings.  A lot will happen organically–we’re plugging in the mentors, coordinating some logistics and communication, and letting God do the rest.

Affinity Group details will be on the web soon, but groups we’ve got so far are: small church ym; large church ym; urban ym; jr. high ym; women in ym; veteran youth workers; new youth workers; tech nerds; college & seminary students and professors; PDYM; older youth workers (45+); and a support group youth workers dealing with difficult pastors. The list is growing…feel free to comment and add your ideas for Affinity Groups. (or anything, really)