conversations from the couch

The casual, quiet pace of the office during the holidays puts me in the mood to chat–so instead of my usual barrage of email correspondence, I opted to pick up the phone and connect with a few conference speakers I needed to connect with.

I talked with Danette Matty, an energetic, dynamic youth worker from Minneapolis who is leading the Women in Youth Ministry Affinity Group, and teaching a few workshops (one on setting boundaries, one on recovering from the aftermath of a youth ministry scandal/mess, and one just for volunteers) We burned up the phone for nearly 2 hours–talking conference schedule and workshop content–bouncing ideas all over the place. Danette has such a sparkly nature–but with a powerful groundedness, transparency and intelligence that makes her brilliant.

We landed on a great plan to shift some workshops a bit and offer late-night breakouts on some hard hitting subjects. We added a new ”recovering from the aftermath” breakout for Sunday night based on our interesting discussion on setting appropriate boundaries in youth ministry–and what can happen when there aren’t boundaries. Danette shared some painful stories about situations that resulted in tremendous pain for some youth workers–and for the youth workers who followed in the footsteps of the mess.

It’s cool how the conference is “owned” by the hearts and minds of the people who are coming to serve in speaker and ministry mentor roles. (and by youth workers who are willing to share their thoughts!)Everyone has an opinion–backed by years of experience, success and failures that give such authentic dimension to every detail!

just a few in large store parking lots would be nice. They’d have a blinking light above the spaces so I could find where I parked my car. They’d also be located close enough to the entrance so when I reached my car and realized I’d left my keys AND cellphone somehwhere inside the store, running back and forth wouldn’t suck that much.

I’m learning that pursuing peace isn’t about chasing peace–it’s about standing still.

This morning–before the 12 visiting family members currently crammed into our home woke up -I snuck some desperately needed time to myself with a venti nonfat mocha and the brand new issue of Group Magazine. It’s rare with the frantic pace of these days to find peace and stillness, and in the midst of this morning’s delicious silence I ran across this wonderful tidbit in Group Magazine called , Downshifting 101, authored by Dan Webster, founder of Authentic Leadership, and one of the NYMC speakers leading an entire track on Soul Care.

Picture entering your day with a sense of purpose and confidence that flows from a quiet connectedness to God. You’re unhurried and focused. Your heart has the resources you need to face the challenges of the day. There’s wisdom in the moment, compassion for the needy, and love for the teenagers you encounter.

Now think of life as it usually is. You enter the same day stressed, behind, pressured, angry, fearful, and worried…feeling generally on edge. Tasks seem overwhelming, teenagers are interruptions, and your personality has the aroma of kitchen garbage. How many days in the last month have been like that for you?

By nature youth workers tend to be people of action. We thrive of the battlefields of problems, decisions, and crises. If things slow down, we don’t know what to do with ourselves. The upside of action is that things get done, and that’s good. The downside of always staying in the action is that we run the risk of losing touch with our hearts–and that’s bad.

Intentionally downshift at the beginning of each day so you can bring a quiet trusting heart into the work of loving teenagers. They’ll be grateful and you will know joy.

Merry Christmas everyone! May you find God’s peace in your pace.

Believe it or not, Doug, Josh and the gang are really on the ball this month. The Christmas episode of the Simply Youth Ministry Podcast is in the can and it should arrive later today. Not much youth ministry in there though, just as a warning.

We’re getting a few requests from churches asking for 1-day passes for extra people to attend NYMC to hear the speakers and bands.  We tossed the idea around and decided that it’s no fun  searching for seats in a crowded setting, especially when you have a group hoping to sit together. We wish we could say yes–and there have been some compelling requests for 1-night only, but it’s not fair to pick and choose. Here’s the “official” word: 

Although we’d love to accommodate requests for evening-only ticket sales, the National Youth Ministry Conference was designed to be a complete conference experience for youth workers who come for training, connection and worship. Seating and facilities have been arranged for registered conference attendees. To respect the conference attendees, we do not sell tickets to portions of the conference. However, you can choose to become a conference attendee by paying the conference registration fee, and attend the portions of the conference as you wish

The conference team (Karen, Sherri and I) share office space with the incredible crew who run the Group Workcamp programs. It’s a great blend of personalities, and possibly the loudest and most energetic wing in the building. We spend a lot of time sharing stories and ideas, and recently dreamed up a little synergy with the National Youth Ministry Conference.

NYMC 2008 is taking place in Cincinnati this February, and the Group Workcamp Foundation also has a Week of Hope program in Cincinnati for 7 weeks this summer where they will partner with local service organizations and ministries to bring in Jr./Senior highers and adult volunteers for a community service missions program. This particular Week of Hope will focus on some homeless ministry efforts, creating “Hope Bags” with various items desperately needed by people in shelters.

With more than 2,300 youth workers coming into Cincinnati for the February conference we wanted to help with an authentic effort to support the mission happening in Cincinnati this summer. We contacted the Cincinnati ministry partners and came up with the idea of a collection center for needed items for the Hope Bags. You can find the list of items on the NYMC website–things like toothbrushes, Bibles, toiletries, etc.

Please take a moment to check it out, and consider rounding up anything you’d like to donate. Have the kids in your youth group organize a tooth-brush drive, or a church-wide Bible round-up. The Week of Hope team, and the Cincinnati ministry partners will be on-site at NYMC gratefully receving donations at a welcome booth near registration. 

We’re home from So. Cal after wrapping up a massive programming meeting with Doug, Josh, Rick, Tim, Kurt Johnston, and Jeff MacGuire (from Mariner’s) We went through the entire conference schedule (made a few great tweaks), and walked through the morning and evening general sessions in detail. It’s all looking awesome–Rick went through his plan for the mornings,  Josh presented plans for pre-show and evenings, and Doug massaged it all together with his special loving Doug-touch.

For a creative meeting with a bunch of passionate people, it flowed suprsingly smoothly. I enjoyed actually NOT being the most talkative person in the room, and kicked back to absorb the dynamics as these guys integrated their gifts:  Rick’s passion for deep Jesus-centered thinking and interaction, Josh’s radiant energy and humor, and Doug’s profound insights, experience and vision for staying true to the message we’re trying to communicate in each session.

It was a great day–productive, powerful and humbling.

Tim and I headed home on a late-night flight to CO. He slept, and I worked through conference details and logistics in my head. Honestly, I’m struggling with it all right now. Normally a fearless champion of optimistic move-it-forward action, I’m beginning to get overwhelmed with the responsibility associated with executing these great ideas without letting someone down. Karen, Sherri and I have been sprinting so hard through the last few months, and I feel like we all just rounded the home stretch and there’s a mountain to scale before we cross the finish line.

 I’m really tired right now. I think the team is tired. We need to catch our breath and get a second wind.

Natalie’s bummed because her tree doesn’t shine as brightly now. My solar calculator is working though–I’m happy about that.  

There’s a large concentration of ministry organizations in Colorado, and a lot of visiting that goes on between each other. Visiting usually involves the seeking of “partnership opportunities” which is code for “business venture.” It’s OK—we’re all looking for ways to grow and expand our ministries, but I love the occasions when we all meet without any agenda but mutual respect of ministry efforts.

This was the case with our friends from Dare 2 Share. Greg Stier, Debbie Bresina and Carol Ann hung out with our crew on Thursday to share the latest ministry happenings. Although Greg has spent time with other folks at Group, I personally didn’t really know him other than having heard him speak at various events, and I wondered if this would be another typical “partnership” business meeting.

It wasn’t. The time was authentically refreshing. The folks at D2S are committed to one thing—Jesus.  Greg isn’t about politics, condemnation, feel-good motivation, or an ego-driven sense of himself as the holy deliverer of the salvation message. He’s got a passionate, loving heart for sharing the message of Jesus, and he and D2S are dedicated to equipping others to share this message too.

Greg Stier is speaking at the Sunday evening general session at NYMC, as well as teaching a track on evangelism. I’m sure he’ll impart his message with the colorful intensity and personal illustrations that illuminate his passion, but it’s the one-on-one conversation with Greg that will blow you away. Look for him on the couch hanging out with other youth workers when he’s not speaking–it’s worth the time to get to know him.

Tim and I are out in sunny Orange County for a few days connecting with the Simply Youth Ministry folks, and finalizing the conference programming details. Went to church at Saddleback yesterday–got to hear Doug’s sermon WITH special guest Tim Timmons, our NYMC worship leader. (he was visiting Saddleback from Mariner’s yesterday) This made getting to CA from CO on a 6 am flight worth the lost sleep.

So I’m trying to work from the SYM offices today, but the lighting in their building totally sucks. I can’t even get my solar calculator to work, and this is supposed to be the sunshine state (or maybe that’s Florida).  I should go out to Starbucks and sit outside, but then I’d miss the conversations. I think I’ll go buy some lamps.